A small group of excited tourists debark from the cruise ship the minute she reached shore in St. John’s. They are anxious to experience Newfoundland and all the wonders their guide book promises.
They’ve read extensively in preparation for the day – hoping to be ‘Screeched In’, to sample the wild variety of the island’s culinary delights. They want to drink an iceberg beer, climb Cabot Tower and stroll along ‘Jelly Bean Row’. The ‘Outer Battery’ is a great spot to see fish landed, split and salted. They’d really like to take a photo at North America’s most eastern point, Cape Spear . Whales and puffins would be a welcome bonus. Indeed there’s lots to be at. But in true Newfoundland tradition – they’ve decided to start the day with a visit to the Basilica of St. Jean the Baptists and, as many European sailors before, give thanks for a safe voyage and praise for the good day ahead. Aware of Newfoundland’s many unique English dialects, they also hope to engage the locals for an opportunity to test their linguistic skills. Their first opportunity arises when they realize the hill top church that played so prominently on the skyline as they sailed into the harbour is not so easily spotted from the dockside and they are in need of help. Stopping the first local they meet, they bid a good day and explain their dilemma, asking for walking directions.
“No problem my sons – no problem. Now where’d you say you came from again?”
“Well were from Holland and we just came off the cruise ship here and were visiting your city for the first time and we need directions to the Basillica – the church on the top of the hill. Can you help us?”
“Yes, yes – no problem. Let me think now. What’s the best way to describe this? Okay, you know where the war memorial is right?”
“Uhhhh…. No sir. We just came off the cruise ship and we have no idea where the war memorial is.”
“No? Okay – well you definitely know where the traffic cop is then?”
“What? No sir, we just came off the cruise ship, it’s our first time in your city and we have no idea where the traffic cop is located!”
“No?” Shaking his head in disbelief he thinks for another minute…. “Well you must know where ‘Rawlins Cross’ is located then?”
Blinking twice and taking their turn with a head shake they explain again in exasperation
“No sir, we are tourists from Holland. We just stepped off that cruise ship right there. We’ve never been in your city before and we have no idea where ‘Rawlins Cross’ is located.” “No….. well, well, well – boy, I don’t think there’s any way I can help you then!”
Wondering if you need a guide in Newfoundland? I’d think its worth it just to hear stories like this, eh boy!
